


The Light of the West

by jpena



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2020-03-08 20:15:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18901879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jpena/pseuds/jpena
Summary: Cersei cried more and tried to climb on the bed next to her mother. “You must listen Cersei. You are the oldest.” Her lady mother was now shaking and had her eyes closed.The little girl opened her eyes when her mother grabbed her hand. “You have to take care of your brothers now. Jaime and Tyrion will need you.”Cersei cried and shook her head, “your baby brother needs you. You have to love him dearly for no one else will.” Her lady mother opened her green eyes and cried once more.Cersei could not stand it. Mother looked so weak and she wanted to please her. “I swear it mamma. I swear it.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own A Song of Ice and Fire or Game of Thrones TV show. 
> 
> I can’t let go of the show so I’m in the process of writing another Cersei centric fic.

Chapter 1

Cersei and Jaime prayed in the sept. They wept all day and prayed once more. It was useless. Their lady mother would die. They all knew that. That little monster ripped her apart. Father was in his study. He would not see any of them. 

Aunt Genna grabbed her hand, “your mother wishes to see you both one last time.” The woman said sadly. She was also heavy with child.

Jaime followed alongside. The eight year olds rushed to their mother’s side.

Their lady mother was pale and sweaty. The room smelled of blood. Cersei knew this smell because she had once watched a hound kill a rabbit.

“Come here my sweetlings.” They wept. Jaime was distraught. “You have to be strong now Jaime. Cersei and Tyrion need you now. You have to be brave for them. Promise, promise you will take care of them.”

Her twin nodded, “I swear it mama. I do, but get better please, get better.” Jaime cried and tried to hug her.

Their lady mother winced. “I don’t have much time my cubs.”

Cersei cried more and tried to climb on the bed next to her mother. “You must listen Cersei. You are the oldest.” Her lady mother was now shaking and had her eyes closed.

The little girl opened her eyes when her mother grabbed her hand. “You have to take care of your brothers now. Jaime and Tyrion will need you.”

Cersei cried and shook her head, “your baby brother needs you. You have to love him dearly for no one else will.” Her lady mother opened her green eyes and cried once more.

Cersei could not stand it. Mother looked so weak and she wanted to please her. “I swear it mamma. I swear it.”

Lady Joanna nodded, “you have to be true my sweetling. I shall know, think of me whenever you see your baby brother. My poor sweet Tyrion. Your papa thinks that is his fault.”

Jaime shook his head, “it isn’t. He’s just a babe.”

“Yes my love, a poor little cub that will be motherless. You have to sing to him Cersei.” She said and shook once more.

“I’ve loved you three so very much.” She said and smiled. Give your mamma one last kiss and then go to the nursery.” They did so. Cersei lingered and cried bitterly. It was all Tyrion’s fault.

Her mother grabbed her hand and tightened, “promise you’ll love him.” She said pitifully.

Cersei cried more, “I swear it mamma. I will, but please don’t die. I’ll make sure Jaime and Tyrion are good. Mamma please.” Cersei cried once more but her mother didn’t hear her anymore. Joanna Lannister was unconscious. She would die an hour later, feverish and scared for her children.

Aunt Genna ushered them into the nursery and presented their new baby brother. The babe was red and crying.

“It will die soon.” Aunt Genna said and cradled him into her arms. She rocked him and Tyrion stopped crying so hard.

Cersei shook her head and hugged her aunt’s middle. “No, he can’t. Mamma said that I have to care for him.” The girl was afraid, confused and wanted comfort. The older woman nodded, “Fine, sweetling. We will take care of him.” 

Cersei and Jaime stayed in the nursery, even after Genna had to leave to prepare for their mother’s burial. Tyrion cried throughout the night. A nursemaid came in and began feeding Tyrion. 

Cersei looked her face of disgust and wanted to scratch her face. “He is my baby brother and you have to care for him. Quit making that face or I will tell father to throw you out.” She pouted. 

The woman frowned but changed her face and cooed at the babe. Cersei and Jaime slept for a few hours, side by side. They were interrupted by Tyrion’s cries here and there.

They were woken up by their aunt once more. “You have to change. We have to say goodbye to your mother.” 

“What about Tyrion?” Jaime asked as he peeked to see Tyrion sleeping peacefully. 

“He is to stay here.” The woman said and tried to herd them to their quarters. Cersei refused to move. “One of us has to stay to take care of him.”

“Absolutely no.” Aunt Genna said. 

Cersei yelled and screamed when aunt Genna tried to take her away from the nursery. Tyrion woke up and cried along with her. Jaime then also cried, big heaving sobs. 

The girl did not expect to see her father come in. He looked upset, his blond hair in disarray. He looked pale too. “What is the meaning of this?” 

Jaime quieted. Cersei looked up to her father. “We cannot leave Tyrion by himself.” She said with tears in her eyes. 

“It will be fine.” Her father said shortly and tried to usher her out of the room. 

“You will dress and leave this room at once.” Her father spat after a while of trying to get her to leave the room. 

“Papa please. I will stay with Tyrion. I have to take care of him. Please papa, please.” Her father was unmoved by her tears. She tried to hug his legs and pout, it worked with all the rest of the people. Maybe it would work for him too. 

“You will dress and leave this room, and so will you.” Her father pointed at Jaime. 

Aunt Genna grabbed Jaime’s hand and began walking. Cersei refused to take her hand or Jaime’s. She frowned and clearly said, “no.” 

Her father looked at her and scowled. Cersei was always afraid of him. He was a stranger that mother said was their papa and that they had to love him. He was always busy and visited them when mother was there. He did not play with them like mamma did. She ran to the crib and to a crying Tyrion. She tried to pick him up but she felt her father picking her by the middle. 

She yelled and kicked trying to get to the babe. “No.” She tried to grab the crib and hold to it. 

Tyrion cried and so did she. Jaime was too scared to cry. Father always said that boys did not cry, only babies and women were supposed to snivel. 

There were no more tears, screams and tantrums that could keep her near Tyrion. Her father dragged her out of quarters. 

“The nurse will stay with the babe.” Aunt Genna tried to appease. 

“No, I don’t like her. She hates him. She made a face at him. I saw her, papa, let me go. I have to go back.” She cried and tried to hit him so that she could go back to her little brother. 

“You will behave yourself and dress. Your mother is gone. You will show her the respect that she deserves.” Her father told her clearly. 

Cersei cried but was numb when aunt Genna proceeded to dress her and prepare her. She combed her long hair and put it on braids. Cersei stood quiet but defiant at every single step of the way. Jaime stood by her side. They both wore black and followed aunt Genna to the sept. Cersei kept her eyes to the floor and thought about Tyrion who was by himself crying. All she could think about was that she needed to go back to the nursery and watch over Tyrion. Aunt Genna sat by her. The Septon proceeded with the ceremony. It was excruciating slow. Cersei and Jaime were forced to walk alongside their father and approach their mother’s body. They painted the green eyes over dead eyes. Cersei looked at her and then squeezed Jaime’s hand. Mother was gone, all they had now was each other and Tyrion.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the feedback :):):):)):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

Chapter 2

She ran back as fast as she could. Cersei had to look after Tyrion. Jaime followed her quickly. The nurse was there and she was yelling at Tyrion. 

“LEAVE.” Cersei shouted. 

Jaime frowned when the woman laughed. He went ahead and kicked her on the shins. The woman attempted to hit him but in came their father. 

“I do not want to see you near them again. Leave at once.” His father said almost without moving his lips and the woman left in a hurry. 

Cersei looked at the baby once more. She tried to lift him. “Let me show you.” Her aunt Genna came in and picked Tyrion. 

“I will have to leave for the capital in the morrow.” Her father addressed her aunt. 

“I am sure Tyrion, Jaime and Cersei will behave very well and will wait anxiously for your return.” Genna said. Father then left without a second glance at them. 

Cersei looked at Tyrion. “He looks very tired aunt Genna.” 

“He had a rough night. Now we have to wait for the new nurse. He smells, a servant should change him.” Aunt Genna wrinkled her nose and went in search of one. 

Cersei looked at Tyrion and smiled. Mother said to think of her whenever she looked at him. Cersei felt so afraid and sad. Jaime hugged her tight. “I will always take care of you and Tyrion. I swear it Cersei.” 

She hugged him back. Jaime tried to kiss her. Cersei however looked away because Tyrion began to cry in earnest. 

Jaime tried to make faces at the baby. “It always cheers me up.” He said trying to move the crib from side to side. 

They did not have to wait long because in came aunt Genna with a young black-haired woman. “Hush little baby.” She said and picked him up. Cersei looked at her suspiciously. She had large breasts, almost as large as aunt Genna’s 

Cersei looked at her with big green eyes. The woman unswaddled Tyrion. Cersei looked at the baby’s legs. They were small when compared to his body, his arms were also short. Cersei watched as the woman cleaned and fed the babe. 

“He will be quiet now. The little lady and lord can go to their quarters now.” The woman smiled. Cersei shook her head. “No, I want to stay. I have to look after him.” She said and looked pleadingly at the two women. 

“Fine, but no tantrums out of you two.” Aunt Genna said and left. 

Cersei stayed and watched Tyrion while Jaime slept. The girl did not leave Tyrion’s nursery for days. She was convinced that something would happen to Tyrion. 

Jaime had to continue his lessons with the maesters. He was forced to leave in the mornings and came back late in the afternoons. Jaime was the heir, he had to learn how to read and do sword fighting. Cersei was good at reading and could pick up a sword. She sometimes wore his clothes and hid her hair to train. She had not done it since Tyrion was born. She also stopped sleeping in the same bed as Jaime. The girl was far too busy watching over Tyrion and the nursemaid. 

Jaime did not say anything. Cersei knew that he loved Tyrion but also knew that Jaime found the baby boring. In true, Tyrion was a little boring. He slept, he cried, he crapped and then ate. Cersei however had no interest in leaving him anytime soon. 

The little girl learned how to change his small clothes and bathe him. It was one of her favorite things; bathing Tyrion. She giggled for the first time. Tyrion was three weeks old. Tyrion cooed and giggled at the warm water. 

The nursemaid, Marla smiled. “He is stronger now.” 

Cersei nodded, “he is not going to die.” 

Marla shook her head, “not anymore little lady. This cub eats very well and is strong.” Cersei kissed his little forehead. 

Cersei giggled at Tyrion and he giggled back.

“I like his eyes. I think they’re pretty.” Cersei said and sat by Marla.

“Do you want to hold him?” The woman smiled at her and asked.

Cersei looked at the baby and smiled. She nodded energetically. Marla walked to the bed where she sometimes slept. “Sit there m’lady.”

Cersei did and waited. Marla sat by her and placed the baby on her arms. “He’s heavy.” Cersei grinned.

“He eats well, the little lord.” The woman chuckled.

Cersei stood very still and watched as Tyrion looked at her. Cersei traced his face and smiled.

Marla stayed with Tyrion and her for nine months. She was heavily pregnant and had to go away. Cersei and Jaime watched over Tyrion and the maids who came and went.

Aunt Genna was busy with her own Frey baby. Jaime was forced to keep attempting to read but he confused his letters a lot. Cersei tried to help him but he was ashamed and stubborn. Jaime tried to have adventures with her like they used to but their heart wasn’t in it anymore. They both knew that they had to take care of Tyrion.

Cersei knew that her baby brother wouldn’t die. He was strong and very curious. His eyes were smart or so aunt Genna said.

She was singing to him as he tried to close his eyes. Cersei smiled and remembered what mother said about loving Tyrion. The little girl thought it would be hard but it wasn’t. Her baby brother was a good baby when he was not crying at night anymore, well not every night at least. 

Jaime entered the nursery one afternoon. Marla was not allowed to feed Tyrion anymore. Aunt Genna and the servants feed him other baby things. Cersei still spent most of her time in the nursery with him. The septa came every afternoon to teach her how to sow and do other lady things. The girl no longer switched with Jaime to train. Jaime frowned but followed along with her.

“Father is back and he brought people with him. A lady and two children.” Cersei frowned. Father was not on her good side.

“Aunt Genna said we have to come down for dinner. She said that father will come and take you away if you don’t come with me.” Her brother added for good measure.

Cersei nodded and ran with him. She laughed when Jaime dared her to run to the door near the main hall. They knew better than to run straight to the main hall. It was still bitterly cold. Cersei was out of breadth but won. She smiled and Jaime grinned maniacally.

“I can’t wait until Tyrion can run with us.” He said and grabbed her hand. They walked slowly and composed themselves. There was a black haired lady, her skin was tanned, with two children by her side. They were also black-haired and a little dark. The boy looked their age while the girl looked like bit older but not by much. 

“My children.” Father said with a small smile. His tone was affable. Aunt Genna was also there. 

Jaime bowed while Cersei curtsied. “This is my son, Jaime and my daughter Cersei.” The girl listened attentively. The woman was Alyria Martell, princess of Dorne and those two children were Elia and Oberyn Martell, the younger prince and princess. They had dinner in the hall. Cersei fretted and wanted to go back to the nursery and look over Tyrion. She comforted herself with the knowledge that Tyrion had to be sound asleep. 

The dinner happened quickly. Jaime pulled her to the side. “They want to see Tyrion.” Jaime said hesitantly. 

Cersei however smiled brightly. “We can sneak when the maid leaves for her dinner.” Cersei smiled at Elia and grabbed her hand. They would be friends. They wanted to see her baby brother. Jaime grinned too. They said their goodbyes and agreed to meet later that night. Cersei would be in the nursery and would let them inside. 

Cersei made sure that Tyrion looked nice. She sorted his hair and played with him so that he would smile when his visitors came. 

Jaime knocked twice as they agreed and in came the three of them. Oberyn bounced on the balls of his feet. Elia sort of his behind her brother. Cersei led them to Tyrion’s crib. The baby looked and kicked his feet. 

Oberyn deflated and Elia sighed. “This is not a monster. He is just a baby.” Oberyn said a little angry. 

Cersei and Jaime frowned identically, “Of course he is not a monster.” 

“But the all said that Tywin Lannister had a monster. This whole journey was a waste.” The boy said angrily. 

“You have to go now.” Jaime said and pulled Oberyn out. Cersei did the same with Elia who began crying. 

Cersei did not cry. She was upset that they would call Tyrion a monster. She remembered her mother’s words. “No one would love him.” Cersei pulled Tyrion from his crib and hugged him. 

“I love you Tyrion. I really do.” She said and sang to him until the maid came back and made her go to her quarters. 

The Martells left after three days. Cersei ignored them as much as she could but eventually Jaime made her play with them. They played hide and seek. Elia was not so bad. Cersei didn’t care much for her though. She was always crying and Oberyn was even more spoiled than they were. Cersei still spent a lot of time with Tyrion. Jaime was easily bored and needed to be outdoors but Cersei could be inside with the baby all day just to make sure that he was fine. 

Father left a week after the Martells did. Cersei and Jaime were asked to come into his solar the afternoon when he was to leave for King’s Landing. 

They came in hand in hand. “Have a seat.” Father said without looking away from his scrolls. 

They sat in front of father’s huge wooden desk. “You are not doing well with your studies.” Jaime hung his head. 

“And you have to stop neglecting your duties.” His father then looked at her. 

Cersei blinked, “I have to take care of Tyrion.” 

Her father frowned, “he has nurses and maids to take care of him. You will resume your classes with the septas full time.”

“But I won’t have time to watch over Tyrion. I have to sing to him. Mamma said I have to do that.” Cersei replied almost pleadingly. 

Her father frowned and looked away. “Your mother is gone. She does not see, does not feel and does not hear any longer.” 

Cersei’s eyes filled with tears and she hung her head too. The little girl was forced to listen to her father go on about family and duty.

Cersei went back to the nursery that night and kissed Tyrion’s head, “don’t worry Tyrion. Jaime and I will be with you every day.” She promised and kissed his soft blond baby hair again before leaving


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support!!

Chapter 3

Tyrion could not walk. He was almost two years and could not walk. Her father was furious when her baby brother could not walk. She heard him rant about it to aunt Genna. 

Cersei worried because Tyrion could not sleep through the night. “hurts, hurts.” He would repeat and touch his head. Aunt Genna rocked him. Cersei sang but nothing worked. She cried alongside the baby. “Go to your room. You are old enough. I do not need your crying.” Aunt Genna snapped at her. The little girl left crying. Jaime consoled her and promised that Tyrion would be fine but he did not know that. 

As it happened Tyrion was very sick. Cersei and Jaime had the sickness too but they were stronger. Tyrion shivered and cried for a week. Cersei cried in her quarters. Aunt Genna forbade her to leave her rooms. Jaime was isolated as well. She could finally visit the baby the eighth day. Cersei was tired but smiled hugely when she saw Tyrion on his cot. He stood up and tried to walk to her. 

“I told your father, all Tyrion needed was some time.” Aunt Genna clapped and kissed Tyrion on his cheek. Tyrion babbled and played with her. Jaime joined them in their play. He looked better too. Tyrion grinned and tried to take a few more steps. Cersei celebrated him. Her smile froze when she saw father walk to the room. 

“I see you three are well.” He addressed them. “I leave for the capital in the morrow. Jaime comes with me.” Jaime nodded. She would have plead to leave with him but now she had Tyrion to think about. 

“When will I be back sir?” Jaime asked. 

“A week or so.” He said. “Go with your aunt. Genna make sure he packs leathers for hunting.” Father left without a glance. 

Cersei was not bothered by it. She did not like her father that much. She played with Tyrion and combed his unruly hair, when he stood still. She did not forget how her father never looked at Tyrion or how he dismissed her with only a glance. It did not matter. All she needed was Jaime and Tyrion. 

Jaime hugged her tight when he left. “I will bring you and Tyrion something pretty. What would you like Cersei?” 

She frowned, “a pet.” Tyrion couldn’t speak much but he babbled and made hands at father who looked away as if angry. Cersei tried to lift Tyrion but he was getting heavy for her. 

Her brother was away for two weeks. Tyrion could now take some steps more surely. He babbled more and more. Cersei was very proud of him. Tyrion was very smart. He began to name colors, her. He recognized who father was, who aunt Genna was and who the maids were. Cersei caught him calling one them mamma. She grabbed his chubby arm and squeezed. “She is not our mamma. Our mamma is dead Tyrion. She would not like you to call anyone but her mamma.” 

Tyrion cried and rubbed his arms. “Mean Cessi.” He babbled. 

Cersei frowned. “I’m not mean. Don’t call Lina mamma again.” 

Jaime came back without their father and he brought presents. “It’s for you and Tyrion.” Jaime brought them a cat.

Tyrion was delighted. “Cat, cat, cat.” He chanted. 

“What should we name him Tyrion?” Jaime asked and tickled him. 

“Owange.” He said delightedly. 

“He is orange but we can’t name him that.” Cersei laughed. Tyrion crossed his arms. “Owange.” 

Orange meowed and that was his name. Life continued for the Lannister siblings. Their father made an appearance here and there. Tyrion was almost four when father decided that Jaime would squire at Crakehall. Cersei and Tyrion missed him terribly when he was gone. He would come every two weeks and the three of them could be seen running around and exploring Casterly Rock. Cersei always liked to play hide and seek and team up with Tyrion to sneak on Jaime. She loved when Jaime came to visit, Tyrion was far more agreeable and they had fun. Jaime taught them how to swim and Cersei taught Tyrion how to read his letters. Her baby brother was very smart. 

Her relative happiness changed when she became a woman. She was thirteen when she felt a pain in her belly. She thought nothing of it and went to bed. She woke up wet and thought that she had an accident when she noticed that it was not urine but blood. Cersei let out a piercing scream. Tyrion’s chamber was the closest. He was six and paled when he saw so much blood. “I’ll get aunt Genna. Don’t move, someone stabbed you.” He said with tears in his eyes and left quickly. 

Cersei was hysterical looking for the stab wound when aunt Genna came in. She laughed and held her. Cersei tried to kick her away. 

Tyrion waddled to her and hugged her, “I don’t want you to die Cersei. You are my sister and only you love me. I will not be bad. I promise Cersei, I will write all my letters and I will not make fun of Jaime when he reads or when you say silly things.” He cried and looked up to her. 

Cersei cried too. She was sure, she would bleed to death. Aunt Genna shook her head. “You truly are something.” She said. “Go to bed, your sister will be fine.”

“No, please. Don’t make me. I have to be here with her. Cersei would be by my side if I was dying.” Tyrion said. Cersei held him and kissed his head. 

Aunt Genna shook her head. “Fine, but sit there quietly and step away from your sister.” She pointed to a stall near the bed. 

“Stay there. Tyrion and I will fetch the maids to draw you a bath.” Her aunt said and left with her baby brother who seemed reluctant to leave. 

Cersei felt sticky and disgusting. Aunt Genna came in with two girls, who were maybe a little older than her. “These will be your handmaidens from now on. Ilsa and Rae.” 

“Where is Tyrion?” Cersei asked still thinking that she was going to die. She would ask for parchment to write a goodbye letter to Jaime. 

“I sent him to bed. This is not a place for him.” Aunt Genna replied. 

Cersei’s eyes welled with tears. “You may go to him once I have explained everything.”

Aunt Genna had the Rae and Ilsa strip the bedding and change the sheets. “Come with me Cersei.” 

They walked to the bath houses. Her aunt ordered her to undress. Cersei felt self-conscious and covered her nonexistent breasts. “Don’t be silly.” Her aunt waved her hands away and helped her remove the night dress which was bloodied. 

“You have your moon blood Cersei. Every month, you will bleed.” Aunt Genna explained carefully and plainly. 

“Now you must learn how babies are made.” The woman said while she bathed and soaped her. “Your husband and only your husband will place his member there and make you as his wife. No one else must touch you there. He will take your virginity on your wedding night after the bedding ceremony. Your moon blood will stop once you are with child. Now I do not want you to worry if your moon blood does not come every month before you have lain with a man. Sometimes young girls do not get their courses every moon.” 

“Will it hurt?” Cersei asked, she felt pain inside her belly and her back now. 

“Laying with a man?” The woman asked. 

Cersei nodded. 

“Yes it will but only for the first time if he is gentle and kind.” The woman replied. Cersei felt the warm water soothe her. 

“You will have your flower for three to five days. There will be pain sometimes, it depends. You will have to wear rags with your undergarments and avoid extreme physical activity as you will smell from time to time.” Her aunt instructed her and dressed her. 

Aunt Genna only had boys and the maids did her hair. She attempted to braid her hair. Cersei humored her. She would undo them and braid her hair herself once she went into Tyrion’s room. 

Cersei learned a lot that night. Aunt Genna hugged her while they walked back to her quarters. She dismissed her newly appointed handmaidens. “This is a good thing sweetling. Your father has looked forward to this day since your birth. You will have babies and be queen.” 

Cersei frowned, “How can I be queen?”

The older woman smiled in complicity, “you must not tell anyone but your father has given your hand in marriage to the crown prince.”

“Prince Rhaegar?” Cersei asked a little dumbly. 

“Of course child. He has no siblings and your father is hand of the King. He is paving the way for you to become queen.” Aunt Genna said. 

Cersei frowned, “I don’t want to leave the Rock.” She said quickly. 

“We all have to leave the nest someday.” Cersei thought of replying that she didn’t. Instead, she, her Frey husband and Frey children lived off Casterly Rock and its rents. The girl chose to stay quiet, aunt Genna was kind that night. 

“I don’t want to leave Tyrion.” Cersei said honestly. 

“He can come with you. No one questions the queen.” She continued and tucked her in. 

Cersei frowned, “the king is more powerful. He is the ruler of the Seven Kingdoms.” The girl said with finality. 

Aunt Genna smiled, “Yes, but a smart woman can make a man listen to her. A good and smart woman can make any man fall in love with her. You will be beautiful Cersei, and men are fools who fall and do anything for a beautiful woman.” 

Cersei nodded, not really understanding everything that her aunt told her. She waited until her aunt left to get up from her bed and move to Tyrion’s quarters. She tiptoed until she entered the room. Tyrion had candles around him. He was reading a book, Orange by his side. “I have told you to not read so late at night. You will ruin your eyes.” She admonished. 

Tyrion usually argued her until she was bored. Her little brother however, just stood up and hugged her again. “I thought you were going to die.” He said in a whisper. 

“I am fine. It will be fine Tyrion. I will never leave you, never.” She said and smiled. 

Tyrion took it in face value. She was with him every day. Cersei was always there, taking care of him, reminding him to bathe, clean, and do his work. Tyrion understood that Jaime and her were the kindest of them. Father barely looked at him and when he did, it was to show his disdain, berate or lecture him. He lectured the three of them whenever he was in Casterly Rock but it was always Tyrion who suffered through the worse of it. Cersei was powerless to stop it. If she were queen, no one would make Tyrion feel bad. They all would have to answer to her. Everyone would know that he was protected. No one would call her baby brother an imp, or a monster. How she hated all of those who dared call him that. 

It broke Tyrion little by little she knew that and no amounts of hugs and baby kisses would make up for that. Her baby brother knew that he was little and would not grow as much as other boys. He asked her a year ago why his legs were funny looking. She did not have a kind answer. It was father who cleared it for him. Tyrion scowled for a week and pushed her when she tried to help him carry some heavy books. “Just because I am a dwarf doesn’t mean I can’t do it by myself.” 

Cersei was taken aback, “who told you that?”

“Father and uncle Kevan. I asked him.” Tyrion said and did not cry. He never cried anymore. He was not a baby. 

Tyrion was six and was discovering that their world was not kind. Jaime and her tried to shield him but it was useless. Jaime was away for longer periods of time and Cersei’s reassurances were not enough. 

Cersei slept by Tyrion and sang to him. Cersei vowed that she would be queen. She would rule and no one would dare hurt Tyrion or Jaime no one. She fell asleep soon enough.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own Game of Thrones. 
> 
> Please read and comment :)

Chapter 4

It was her fourteenth nameday. Cersei was very happy. Jaime would come and visit and uncle Gerion was back from one of his many voyages and would present them with gifts. The only damper was the fact that father was home and preparing Lannisport for the Tourney in prince Viserys’ name. She was ecstatic that queen Rhaella had given birth to a baby boy. It meant that she would be queen. Ever since that night when she had her first moon blood, Cersei began to think about prince Rhaegar as hers. She wrote him letters that she kept in her chambers and searched for every piece of writing about him. She asked Jaime about the prince. Her twin was in the capital much more than she ever was. Cersei never met prince Rhaegar but she knew him to be handsome, kind and good hearted. She was infatuated with the idea of being queen, bearing his children, singing songs and punishing those who wronged them. 

Cersei imagined her life as queen. She would love Rhaegar, he would sing her songs and win tourneys in her name. She would be his queen of love and beauty. Cersei would give him sons and daughters, all silver headed and beautiful. Tyrion would be by her side. He would be protected, well taken care of. Jaime would be lord of the rock and they would visit each other. It would be perfect. 

The girl looked at herself in the mirror. She had what aunt Genna would call the beginnings of a womanly shape. She was slender now. Cersei smiled, her teeth were aligned and her hair was golden. She knew that she was pretty, everyone said so. She dressed with a green dress and wore her emerald earrings and necklace. She went to check on Tyrion but did not find him in his quarters. 

Cersei broke her fast alone. The servants and small folk congratulated her. She had not seen her aunt or Jaime yet. She wondered when he would be home. 

Her father appeared in the hall. Cersei stood up, she expected a kiss. She always got a kiss on her name days. Tywin came to her and kissed her forehead, “you are more beautiful every day.” Cersei smiled happily, sometimes, she loved her father dearly. 

“Come with me, I have a gift.” He said and offered his arm. 

Cersei took it and walked with her father. They went into his solar. “Have a seat.” Cersei did so and waited. 

“These are for you.” Her father offered her a chest. “Open it.” 

Cersei did so and was surprised, inside there were all sorts of jewels. “They were your mother’s. Now they are yours.” Her father looked away. He must have known how important these were for her. 

Cersei wiped a few tears, “thank you, papa.” She said and stood up. Cersei hugged him. Her father was stiff for a second and then kissed her forehead once more. “All I do is for you and your brothers, for our family. Always remember that.” He said gently. It was the first time he spoke to her so softly. He always lectured them. 

“Now go. I will have the maids take the chest to your quarters. Your brother will be here any moment now.” He said and went back to his parchments. 

The girl walked out the solar and smiled happily. She found Jaime in the stables. He hugged her and kissed her cheek. “You are the most beautiful sister.” He said happily. “I brought you something.” He winked and gave her a painting. Cersei unrolled it and saw that it was them and Tyrion. “It’s beautiful.” She said. 

“I have your gift too.” She said and took his hand. She took him to the farthest stall. “He’s nameless.” Cersei pointed to a white stallion. 

“He’s very handsome. Thank you sister.” Jaime was in awe. “He will be my pride and joy.” 

Jaime and Cersei walked back to castle hand in hand. Cersei teased him a bit. Jaime rolled his eyes and told her all about his adventures as a squire in Crakehall. They spent an hour talking and telling each other tales. 

“Where is Tyrion?” Jaime asked. 

Cersei frowned, “I have not seen him all day. I checked his quarters, the libraries and the kitchens.” They decided to look for him but Tyrion did not turn up. 

“What if something happened to him?” She fretted and the worst scenes occurred in her head. 

Jaime shook his head, “nothing happened to him. Look, he’s right there.” Tyrion was with a book, reading in the courtyard. 

“You have not wished me a good name day.” Jaime said and hugged him. 

Tyrion laughed. “I did not know you were here. Nobody told me.” He looked at Cersei. 

“It is my nameday too.” Cersei frowned. 

“I gave you my gift.” He said. 

Jaime arched an eyebrow, “what did he give you?” 

Cersei walked ahead, “he will be perfectly well behaved for a whole week. He will do and listen to my every command.” 

Jaime shook his head. The siblings spent more time playing hide and seek for Tyrion’s sake. Their little brother did not have any playmates other than them two. Tyrion finally tired. “Shall we get lunch? Something light, we have a feast tonight.” Cersei said. 

Tyrion nodded and followed them. “Father is here.” Jaime said warningly. 

Tyrion slumped, “I had hoped that he would remain in the capital.” 

Cersei frowned, “of course not. He is organizing the tourney for the king and the new prince.” Tyrion stopped on his tracks. “I don’t like it when he’s home.” 

Jaime remained quiet. “It will be fine. You just have to behave Tyrion.” 

Their little brother frowned, “I always behave. Cersei, tell him I do. It’s just that father does not like me. He hates me, everyone knows it so.” 

Cersei shook her head, “that’s not true. He loves you, just like he loves Jaime and me.” 

Tyrion rolled his eyes, “sure Cersei.” He said and waddled away. 

Cersei changed the subject. They spent the afternoon receiving gifts. Tyrion was escorted to his quarters to start his lessons. Father had a strict policy of five days of studies and the only exception was name days. Tyrion went away and rejoined them at the feast. Father was in attendance and so was uncle Kevan, aunt Genna. Uncle Gerion was not there yet. The Lannister children loved uncle Gerion. He was their favorite. Jaime and Tyrion loved his tales. Cersei loved that he called her beautiful and gave her trinkets here and there. 

Tyrion ate his food patiently but tugged at her dress sleeve. “Where is my uncle?”

Uncle Gerion arrived after the feast. Cersei was about to herd Tyrion to his quarters, “you have to sleep.” She said tiredly. 

“We can wait for a few more minutes.” He said while yawning. They were in one of the drawing rooms. 

Cersei scowled, “you promised to behave. I shall be very sad if you do not do as you are told.” 

“But Cersei...” He said and went to her. He looked about to be in tears. 

“Fine but only five minutes and then you go to bed.” She said firmly. Jaime grinned at him. 

The five minutes came and went. Cersei stood up, “time for bed.”

Tyrion reluctantly stood up and then brightened when uncle Gerion came through the door. Tyrion ran to him. Uncle Gerion was the tallest Lannister. He was good natured and kind to the three of them. 

“My favorite Lannister.” Uncle said and lifted Tyrion high in the air. Tyrion giggled and hugged him. 

“I missed you. What did you bring me?” He said quickly. 

“Greedy little nephew.” The man laughed and set him down. 

“My lady.” He bowed to her and kissed her hands. 

Gerion clapped Jaime on the back and sat on one of the chairs. 

“His solar with uncle Kevan. Should I get him?” Jaime offered. 

“No need, I will go to them.” He said and then smiled. 

“I come with gifts for you two.” He said and offered them.

“A sword for a knight.” Uncle Gerion gave Jaime a beautiful sword. Her brother smiled from ear to ear. 

Her uncle then looked at her and offered her parcel, Cersei opened it and found beautiful fabric, so delicate, “the finest silk for a dress.” Cersei smiled and kissed her uncle. 

Tyrion looked down. “You don’t think I would forget my favorite Lannister.” Her uncle said and took out a book. 

“I wrote it for you. It has all the legends and travels I could remember.” He said. 

Tyrion smiled. “Thank you nuncle. He waddled and hugged him tight. I will read it every night.” 

“Now, off to bed the three of you.” Cersei tucked Tyrion and kissed his forehead. 

“I love you Cersei. Happy name day.” He said and kissed her cheek. 

Cersei kissed his forehead, “I love you too baby brother.” 

The next few days were a haze of activity. Casterly Rock and Lannisport prepared for the royal’s visit. Prince Viserys was not old enough to make the travel. He would stay in King’s Landing with queen Rhaella. It would only be the King and the crown prince. Cersei was tightly wound with coiled excitement. She would finally meet her prince. She had to be beautiful and graceful for him. 

Tyrion spent most of his time with Jaime and reading the book uncle Gerion brought him. Cersei was fine with that. She needed to focus on impressing the prince. She tried on at least five and ten dresses before she settled on a Lannister red one and matching golden jewelry. She would wear that when she met the prince. Cersei was walking in clouds. She dreamed and pictured her life with Rhaegar. Father would be proud of her. She fantasized about her wedding ceremony and blushed when she thought of the bedding ceremony and wedding night. 

The girl brushed her hair absentmindedly when aunt Genna entered the quarters. “What will you be wearing for the Tourney?” The older woman asked her. Cersei gave her a detailed summary of the seven dresses she chose. 

“Do not wear the red one just yet. Save that one for the end of the tourney. There will be a wonderful announcement.” Her aunt said with a sly smile. 

Cersei’s eyes rounded, “my engagement to the prince.” 

Aunt Genna nodded and hugged her, “you must be perfect Cersei. The King has to love you.”

“What about the prince? Shouldn’t he love me as well?” Cersei asked as her aunt played with her long hair. 

“How could he not? You are the fairest maiden in the seven kingdoms. He’d be a fool if he did not take a liking to you.” Aunt Genna said. 

Cersei smiled prettily. “Everything will be perfect. I know it so.” The girl dreamed of feasts, weddings and children that night. 

The day finally arrived. Cersei wore a light blue dress and a delicate sapphire necklace. She had Rae style her hair in two twin braids. She thought it looked good. She went to get Tyrion out of bed. Him and Jaime stayed up too late the day before. The girl caressed Tyrion’s blond hair. “Wake up. You have to get ready. Father will call for us soon. You have to be on your best behavior.” 

Tyrion growled, “No, I don’t.” He tried to burrow deeper into his bed. Cersei was having none of it. “You will wake up Tyrion. This is very important and you need to behave.” She took the pillows one by one and threw them to the floor. Tyrion glared sleepily at her. 

“Father does not even want to see me there. He’s ashamed that I am a dwarf.” The boy said and turned. 

Cersei grabbed his arm and pulled him roughly to the floor. “Never call yourself that again. You are Tyrion Lannister, one of Tywin Lannister’s sons and heirs. Our family is important and you will conduct yourself in that manner.” 

She combed his hair for a bit. “The maids will come to bathe and dress you.” She said and kissed his cheek. “You behave; I do not want to hear any complaints.” 

Tyrion frowned. “Fine but I don’t like it.” 

Cersei rolled her eyes, “plant a smile on your face. They all must think that you are an agreeable boy, even if you are insufferable.” 

“You are quite horrid too.” He said and smiled a little. 

Cersei left the room and went in search of her twin. Jaime was dressed and ready. He offered his arm. “Did Tyrion wake up easily?”

“He did not, you should have forced him to sleep much earlier.” Cersei reproached him. 

“It’s fine Cerse.” Jaime then walked with her to the great hall. Cersei had her place in the high table and waited for Jaime to sit down. All the Lannisters were in attendance, even uncle Tygett decided to come. 

Tyrion came in with father. They both had frowns on their faces and sat as far from each other as possible. Cersei would have to ask Tyrion what happened. The Lannisters broke their fast and scattered to wait for the royals. 

“You three come with me.” Their father motioned and walked to his solar. The Lannister children sat in a row Jaime to the farthest left, Cersei and Tyrion. Their father in front of them. 

“I need you three to be on your best behavior. Jaime, I heard you plan to compete in the Tourney.”

“Yes father.” Jaime replied with his eyes fixed on his knees. 

“I will not have you shame our family name.” Their father drawled. “You will compete well or not compete at all.” 

Jaime looked up defiantly. “I am ready lord father.” 

Tywin nodded, he then looked at Cersei, his eyes softened imperceptibly. “You are the lady of Casterly Rock and will be our hostess.”

“Yes father, all is ready for their majesties’ arrival and their parties.” Cersei said proudly. She worked hard alongside aunt Genna to have all ready. 

Their father then looked at Tyrion. “No chasing dogs, playing with the handmaidens or hiding in the dungeons. No fires in there.” He said reproachfully. 

Cersei looked down. It was uncle Gerion’s fault, him and those dammed books that he gave her little brother. Tyrion was obsessed with dragons. He set fires in the bowels of Casterly Rock and watched the embers. Cersei tried to stop him but Jaime managed to encourage him and provide material for his burnings. 

“Yes father.” Tyrion looked down the entire time. Cersei noted that he had his hands balled up. She placed a hand over his fist and her brother relaxed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own Game of Thrones 
> 
> Please read and comment :)

Chapter 5

Father lined them up for the royals’ arrival. Jaime would be presented first as he was the heir, even though she was older. They heard the horses and carriages. The kingsguard escorted a carriage. 

Jaime gasped when he saw The knights in white. Tyrion was also impressed, he disagreed with his leathers. It was the most beautiful summer day. Cersei was not impressed when king Aerys came out of his litter. The king looked like an old man but he couldn’t be. Father and him were the same age. King Aerys had long whitish hair, he was pale, thin and his nails were longish and had a yellow hue to them. Her first impression was that her father looked kinglier that the king. 

Her lord father bowed and greeted the king. “This is my household your grace.” He presented Jaime first and then her. 

The king did not pay much attention to her or Jaime. He however took an interest to Tyrion. “So this is the famous Imp of Casterly Rock. The monster that ripped beautiful Joanna apart.” The king gave Tyrion a nasty smile. Her baby brother just kept his eyes on the floor. Father looked briefly bothered but soldiered on. Once all of her uncles and aunts were introduced the party moved to the castle. Cersei stiffened and concentrated on Rhaegar. Cersei wanted to see the prince. 

She was unlucky, as the prince arrived the following day and was escorted to his quarters without any public fanfare. Cersei followed the routine of the previous day and prepared to wake Tyrion but he was already awake. 

“We will have the best seats.” Cersei said cheerfully. 

Tyrion nodded and gave her his hand. She knew that the king’s comments cut him deeply. He heard the term Imp before but only from small folk, never from a lord, much less the king himself. 

Cersei watched the melee with some disgust but Tyrion seemed to enjoy the violence. She shook her head. The king looked bored and talked to her father in a hurried way. Cersei looked to the side and saw him. Prince Rhaegar. He was absolutely beautiful. His hair was long but white blond. His eyes were lilac and he wore a small smile when he addressed his father. She did not hear his voice but she knew it was beautiful like the rest of him. Cersei was distracted from then on. She tracked him throughout the tourney. She was in love and knew that he would be hers. 

Tyrion tugged at her sleeve. “Cersei, father will be upset if we do not go for the feast.” Cersei nodded and they walked to the high table. 

Jeyne and Melara caught up to her. They were her companions, well father insisted on them. Cersei did not care much for either of them. She particularly disliked Melara, who thought she would marry Jaime. How dull she was. Melara could not marry her brother, she was too lowly for that. 

“There is a witch that can tell our future.” Jeyne began. 

Cersei frowned, “I already know my future.” She said confidently. 

“She is too scared. We will go by ourselves.” Melara taunted. 

“Fine, I will go with you.” She said quickly. 

The king made some japes at Tyrion’s expense that night. Father excused her and Tyrion. “I feel a little sick. I am sure Tyrion is exhausted with today’s excitement.” Father nodded and they left. Cersei forgot about the prince and held Tyrion that night. 

“You are the smartest boy I know.” She said as she combed his hair that night. 

“I don’t want to go to my quarters. Can I stay with you Tyrion?” She said gently. 

Tyrion shrugged, “it is fine Cersei. I know what I am. You do not have to stay.” Cersei nodded. “I will get my nightdress and come back.” She had planned to go with Jeyne and Melara but decided against it. Tyrion needed her. 

Jeyne and Melara awaited for her, “Why are you in your nightdress? We have to go through the woods to find the witch?”

“I am not going.” Cersei said and stepped aside. 

“What a coward.” Jeyne said in turn. Cersei could not care a fig about what the girls thought. All she cared about was the hurt in Tyrion’s eyes. 

Cersei came back and found Tyrion reading about dragons once again. “Cersei, tell me about mother?” 

Cersei smiled, “Well, you know she had blonde hair, was kind, and she was tall, almost as tall as father. She was a proper lady and she made father smile.” 

Tyrion nodded, “tell me about her eyes.” He said. 

“They were green, but not like mine or Jaime’s. Hers were like your green eye, bright beautiful emerald green.” Cersei said happily. 

Tyrion began to cry. Her baby brother did not cry easily. Cersei hugged him tight. “The king said that I ripped her apart. She was good and I’m a monster, I killed our mamma.” 

Cersei shushed him and caressed his back. “Mamma loved you very much. You were just a baby Tyrion. You did not kill her, I promise you.” 

Tyrion cried softly, “father hates me. I know he does and I thought it was because I’m little but I think it’s also because I killed her. You said she was the only one that made him smile.” 

Cersei kicked herself for saying that. “Father loves you in his own way. He is stubborn and stupid for not loving you like I and Jaime do.”

Tyrion sobbed and then quieted. Cersei sang to him and made sure to tell him that she loved him and that mother loved him very much even if the world did not. 

She was a ball of excitement by the last day of the tourney. Prince Rhaegar defeated many knights, her uncle Gerion included. Jaime did quite well for a squire and her father was proud of that. Jaime went away that day before the tourney ended as he had to go to Crakehall and then King’s Landing. Tyrion hugged Jaime tight. “I will be back before you know it.” 

That same night, prince Rhaegar delighted the Lannisters with his harp. Cersei thought it was the most beautiful thing she heard and seen. She cried of happiness that night. She dreamed of their wedding. 

The final day of the tourney finally came. Cersei and Tyrion watched as prince Rhaegar tried to unhorse ser Arthur Dayne. He failed. Ser Dayne crowned his sister Ashara the queen of love and beauty. Cersei thought that Ashara was pretty but not so much as her. 

The feast was a grand affair. Father looked dour and unsatisfied while the king looked very cheerful. Cersei waited anxiously for the announcement that would never come. She thought clearly that it would come after supper but nothing. She looked at aunt Genna intently and she seemed as confused as she was. Cersei did was intrigued and tried to catch father’s eyes but she was left with nothing. 

Cersei went into bed that night and waited for aunt Genna. She never came. Cersei did not sleep well. She thought of every single possibility. The engagement would be announced in the capital. Maybe father wanted her to grow up a little more. It made no sense. Cersei had her moon blood regularly now. She would not marry now; everyone knew that they would wait until she was seventeen. She would have to be in court for at least a year before the small folk and lords saw her as a princess. The wedding in itself would have to be planned and that would take another year. 

The royals left the following morning and there was no understanding. Cersei went in search of her father. Aunt Genna actively avoided her now. She knew because she went to her quarters and she made the maid say that she indisposed. 

Cersei had to take matters into her own hands. She knocked on the door and entered when there was no answer. 

“What is it?” Father asked without looking from his work. 

Cersei stood high and proud, “Why wasn’t my engagement to prince Rhaegar announced?”

Tywin looked up at her, “because there is no engagement to be made. I offered your name and the king refused your hand. We are not suitable enough for the prince.” 

Cersei felt the world tilt. She paled, “but I am to be queen.”

“Not right now Cersei. Go find some useful employment. I am far too busy to entertain you.” Her father hissed. 

The girl ran out of there and went into her quarters. She wept, Cersei did not understand. She thought of the past days and could not find a fault. She was perfect, it all was good but the king refused her. Maybe she needed to be bolder, maybe she had to go to prince Rhaegar and made him love her. 

Cersei cried into her pillow. It was all ruined. She would never be queen. Cersei wept and refused to eat her lunch. Tyrion came to see her and he tried to comfort her. “Cersei, please tell me what happened.”

Cersei shook her head; she was ashamed to tell him. He would think that it was because of him. Cersei could not tell him because she was afraid. She was scared that if she said it out loud it would be true. A horrid, a truly horrid part of her believed that it was because of her Tyrion. She felt pain and would not let herself think that. 

“Nothing Tyrion. It’s nothing, just be good for me and give me a kiss.” Tyrion did, he kissed her forehead. “I’ll stay with you, you can cry all you want and I will hold you.” 

Cersei nodded and cried bitterly. Tyrion tried to sing to her and she smiled when he made funny lyrics. “I wish Jaime were here.” She said. “I wish we all were together and mother were here with us.” 

Tyrion played with her hair, “me too.” But Cersei knew that he only said that to make her happy. She knew that Tyrion did not remember their mother and that he did not care for Tywin Lannister.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I don't own Game of Thrones
> 
> Please read and comment :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

Chapter 6

Cersei lost her appetite for weeks. She cried herself to bed. Tyrion and aunt Genna worried. Cersei lashed out. No one would call her charitable or nice to her servants. She was in a pissy mood and only Tyrion was spared from her comments and nasty looks. Aunt Genna took the brunt of it. Cersei could not care less, in her eyes, aunt Genna was at fault. It made no sense but she had to find someone guilty and it could not be Tyrion and father was too powerful. Aunt Genna made a perfect target and so did Ilsa and Rae, her handmaidens. She also punished Jeyne.

“Why are you still here?” Cersei asked her one night. 

Jeyne was quiet. 

Cersei looked around, “they found Melara in the woods. She’s dead.”

Jeyne trembled but was mute. “Did you two find Maggy the Frog?” Cersei asked. 

The girl burst into sobs and fled. Cersei frowned but got a sick pleasure from watching her cry. 

Tyrion checked her worst impulses. If she focused on him, she could be decent to almost everyone. Cersei did not care enough to torment Jeyne any further. 

Cersei tried to find ways to keep busy so she took over a lot of aunt Genna’s roles. It worked perfectly since aunt Genna stopped being the acting lady in Casterly Rock. 

Three months after prince Viserys’ tournament aunt Genna announced that she was with child, now this was strange as her Frey husband was only present for the first day in the tourney and was badly injured for the rest of it. 

It was clear that father had the same suspicions as Cersei for he asked her to leave the Rock. Cersei overheard aunt Genna crying one night. “After all we have done for his children. He just asks me to leave. He said he was disappointed; can you believe him?” She shrieked. 

Long story short, Aunt Genna was banished to the riverlands with her Frey husband and children. 

Cersei took more of a role in the household and lands. Father still had uncle Kevan who managed the duties but Cersei ran the Rock. She busied herself with day to day operations and even sat with uncle Kevan when he ran his meetings about the ins and outs of Casterly Rock. 

It was three months before Tyrion’s name day. Uncle Gerion was to sail off somewhere exotic. Father was home from King’s Landing for a few days. Tyrion and her were to go to King’s Landing for a few weeks. 

Uncle Gerion came to say his goodbyes. They were all in the hall. Uncle Kevan, father, Tyrion, and her. 

“I will sail in the early morning.” He said. The Lannisters had a feast in his name. 

“I had hoped that Genna would be here.” Uncle Gerion pointed out as they finished eating and went to the drawing room. 

“She is far too advanced in her pregnancy.” Her father said as they sat to have some family time. 

Uncle Gerion sighed and played with them as uncle Kevan and father discussed Casterly Rock. 

“I hear that you are setting fires in the dungeons” their uncle mentioned to Tyrion. 

“I like fire.” Tyrion grinned. 

“Did you enjoy the books I got you?” The man asked him. 

Cersei nodded, “you know he did.” 

Uncle Gerion laughed. “Well, I will get you something better. Whatever you want.” 

Tyrion’s eyes lit up, “whatever I want.” 

“That is correct. You need only say your heart’s desire.” Uncle Gerion said. 

Tyrion smiled widely, “I want a dragon.” 

Uncle Gerion laughed heartily. 

Tyrion smiled. “please, please. It doesn’t have to be a big dragon. It can be small like me.” 

Uncle Gerion hugged him tight, “oh you truly are my favorite Lannister.”

Uncle Kevan noticed them. “What is so funny?”

Uncle Gerion kept on laughing, “you’ll never guess what our nephew wants for his name day.” 

Cersei rolled her eyes, “What do you want Tyrion?” Father asked him. 

“I want a dragon father.” Tyrion said. 

Her father shook his head, “Well, your uncle can certainly not bring you that.” 

“I will take care of it. I promise I will. Cersei can help me. I will only let it burn bad people and those who are mean to me.” 

Uncle Kevan laughed too. Father frowned and Cersei did too. “I told you dragons don’t exist.” 

“They do. They do, uncle, tell her they do. I read the books, and it’s not only his books. I read them in the library too.” 

Father fought a small smile. It was not mocking, it was a little proud, not that father could bring himself to say it or express it. 

“Tyrion, the last dragon that existed died more than a hundred years ago and it was not bigger than your cat.” Their father said. 

Tyrion deflated. Uncle Gerion noticed, “How about I bring you horses? Or a lion, your own lion.” 

Her baby brother nodded and stayed quiet for the rest of the night. Cersei knew that it bothered him that dragons were extinct. He chose to sleep by himself even after she offered to stay with him. 

“I am not a babe.” He said and turned after she kissed him good night. 

Cersei knew he cried himself to sleep because his eyes were puffy and he refused to correct her when she used a word wrong. 

Cersei’s pain lessened and then she had hope and good news. She would go to the capital and stay there for a few weeks. It would be enough time to make a good impression and see Rhaegar. 

Cersei learned that Jaime would be in the capital as well. Ser Arthur Dayne knighted Jaime after the defeat of the Kingswood Brotherhood. Cersei arrived to the capital and foolishly clung to the hope that Rhaegar would marry her. Their engagement announcement was not made but there was no other girl announced to marry him either. 

The capital was just as Cersei remembered, noisy, filled with people and dangerous. Lannisport was big but Kings Landing was twice as crowded and busy. Cersei and Tyrion settled in the tower of the hand but had very minimal contact with the royals. 

Cersei saw prince Viserys from afar and queen Rhaella as well. Jaime was now a knight and supposed to return to Casterly Rock which was what father wanted. And so Jaime went away and Tyrion went with him. 

Cersei packed her bags, disheartened by the news that she would return to the Rock. It was surprising when father asked her why she had her clothes packed. 

“You are not going anywhere.” Her father replied. Cersei’s hands grew cold. “What do you mean?”

Tyrion and Jaime were confused as well. “You are staying with me while your brothers leave for home. You will rejoin them soon enough.”

Cersei shook her head, “I can’t stay if Tyrion leaves.” 

“Well, we have reached an impasse, you are to stay with me while your brothers go west.” 

“But Tyrion is too young.” Cersei continued and followed her father. 

“As I recall, your brother turned six a few nights ago. He is by no means a babe. Tyrion are you a babe?” their father addressed her little brother. 

“No sir.” Tyrion said honestly. 

“It’s all decided then. Tyrion and Jaime go back to Casterly Rock and you stay here with me. 

Tyrion looked away. Jaime nodded and Cersei was close to tears. Father left for a small council meeting. “I will see you off in a couple of hours.” 

Cersei was angry, “we are not going to see each other. How could you not say anything?” Cersei shrieked. 

Tyrion frowned, “I am not a baby.” 

Cersei looked at him and grabbed his hands. “Tyrion, do you understand that I will not be with you? No more forehead kisses or good night songs.” 

Tyrion’s eyes were downcast. “Father said that you will come back to the Rock soon.” 

Jaime nodded, “and he is getting big for good night kisses. Tyrion is big now. He will be fine. He will write, just like I did.” 

Cersei frowned, “it’s not the same. You are old, Tyrion is just a boy.” 

Tyrion hugged her. “I promise I’ll behave for Jaime.” 

Cersei hugged him tightly. They would not show this much affection when he left. Their father would forbid it.

“You have to listen and be good for everyone. You have to write to me too, every week, and no more fires. Swear.” She said while kissing his face. It would be the first time that they would be away from each other. “I will miss you a lot.” She cried freely. 

“Promise to be good.” She said between sobs. 

“I will, I swear I will.” Tyrion said and kissed her cheeks. 

Jaime tried to comfort her. “It is up to you now. You will have to take care of him. You make sure he completes all his work. He needs to read and do not spoil him. No sweets before bed and under no circumstance is he allowed to tumble.” Cersei said and then hugged her twin. “Remember what mother said. We have to love him dearly, for the rest of the world will not.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Game of Thrones
> 
> Please read :):):):):):):):):):):):):)

Chapter 7

She turned seven and ten in King’s Landing. It had been three years since she last saw her brothers. Tyrion wrote her every week. It was very hard for her to not have Tyrion by her side. It was the hardest thing she’d ever done. It was hardest than parting with Jaime. At least they got to see Jaime every other month and for some days. Cersei longed to see them. She longed to see Tyrion’s face. She begged her father to let her go back to Casterly Rock but he refused at every turn. She grew to resent him. Cersei was now a grown woman without any marriage prospects. She was still enamored with Rhaegar but hopeless. If her father thought that proximity would create an attachment, then he was sorely mistaken. Prince Rhaegar preferred to be in Dragonstone and was seldom in King’s Landing.

Life in the capital was boring. She attended endless feasts and parties. She accompanied her father to hunting trips but never went home. She was also in the company of queen Rhaella and prince Viserys who was always fussy. The queen loved her child and doted on him but Cersei thought the child too spoiled and the queen too soft on him. She would have scolded and corrected Tyrion if he ever threw the tantrums little Viserys threw. Cersei however reflected that her Tyrion was not a prince and would only be a lord. 

Cersei read his letter and Jaime’s once more. 

Dearest sister, 

Father is still forcing the marriage issue. He’s hosted Hoster Tully and his two daughters. They are both very droll. I cannot think of sharing my life with any of them. I would love for you to be here with us now. Tyrion and I just came back from swimming. It is a beautiful day. We both miss you very much. 

Love 

Jaime. 

 

Dearest Cersei, 

Lysa Tully is insufferable. Cat is not so bad, but she is still very boring. Not as smart as you. I think father made a mistake. Jaime will never cooperate, also Jaime is not smart enough to be Lord of Casterly Rock. I try to make him pay more attention to uncle Kevan but he just loves to fight and play with swords. I miss you very much and wish you were here. Maybe, I can convince uncle Kevan to send me to King’s Landing soon. I have to tell you; I ride horses now. I designed a special mount that is not so bad for my legs and the pain. I feel as tall as the rest of them.

Love, 

Your best brother 

Tyrion. 

Cersei clutched the letters. She tried to imagine what it would be like to hold Tyrion and pepper him with kisses. She missed Jaime and his japes. She missed them so much. She even missed Orange. 

Father entered her solar. “You are to break your fast with the queen and Viserys. They have prepared a little celebration for your name day.” 

Cersei nodded, “father, when will I go back?”

“If I have my way, your brothers will join us for your wedding to the crown prince.” Her father said quickly. 

“Truly.” Cersei tried to stifle the excitement in her voice but was unsuccessful. 

“Yes, now go dress and wear the rubies and golden dress for tonight.” Her father said and left the tower. 

Cersei did as she was told. She had her little celebration, queen Rhaella was happy to see her and showered her with silks and jewelry. Cersei took them graciously. 

“You will be very happy after tonight’s feast.” The queen said with a demure smile. Cersei felt as if she had a thousand butterflies inside her belly. 

She prepared for the night. Her hair shone like gold, she wore it loose with a diadem of rubies. She thought she looked beautiful. The feast commenced. Most of the Westerosi nobility was in attendance. There were a lot of young women. She was surprised when she saw the crown prince. He wore his hair back in a single braid. He was the handsomest man she ever saw. The room vanished and it was only her and Rhaegar. The prince smiled in her direction. Cersei felt her heart expand. This was her night. She would be announced as the new princess. The girl was so intent in communicating all the love she felt for the prince that she forgot the King was in attendance. She was brought back to reality when the man stood up. 

The king spoke after the food was consumed. Cersei’s heart hammered erratically. It was now, father smiled at her and raised a glass to her. Father had a beautiful smile. She grinned at him. 

“My son, the prince of Summer Hall is old enough to wed. It is high time that he found a suitable wife and start a family of his own. Rhaegar smiled at her once more. Any moment now, King Aerys would ask for her hand, at which point father would graciously agree. 

“It with my outmost approval that I announce that my son will wed this year. This alliance has been planned for years and now it will be forever sealed. A promise of a formidable union with alike minded young people.” The king said triumphantly, Cersei thought that the king looked good. He looked less old, more vibrant and kingly. 

“I have chosen the best wife for my son and heir. Princess Alyria, do I have the Dornish’s prince permission to ask for young Elia Martell’s hand in marriage?” It was not a question. Cersei’s face crumbled, she was humiliated and utterly devastated. 

The Dornish princess must have agreed to the match because all that could be heard was the loud cheers from the Westerosi. Father was pale and did not look at her. Cersei tried to smile tightly and focused on not crying. She was in a daze and did not see her father leave the feast. The young girl stayed for another hour, greeting and dancing with some lords. The queen approached her by the end of the night. 

“Are you not happy my girl?” The queen asked her tenderly. 

Cersei wanted to shake her head and scream. The girl however smiled gently, “I am your grace.” 

Queen Rhaella held her hand, “now you will be lady in waiting for the new princess. It is the highest honor. Aerys is so grateful to your father.” The queen continued. 

Cersei thought her soft in the head for the first time. They all whispered that the Targaryens were mad and the girl began to believe it that night. She went back to the tower of the hand and was about to cry her heart out when she found the maids cleaning and gathering her things. 

Her father had a goblet of wine. “You have your wish. We are going back to Casterly Rock.” 

Cersei did not have time to cry until they reached the first inn outside of King’s Landing. The girl bit her pillow several times to not cry rage against the unfairness of the world. 

Father made them stop at every single inn and little village along the way to Casterly Rock. It was as if he clung to the idea that the king would send for him. Her father was sorely mistaken. No ravens came, no emissaries, no riders in the middle of the night. Father was no longer in power. 

She cried herself to sleep every night. The prince never talked to her. He did not even know her name. She was in love with him and they never heard a conversation. Cersei realized that she should have been bold. She should have slipped into his bedchambers late at night and given herself to him. Cersei knew what happened in the bedchambers. Her handmaidens talked about it when they thought she was not listening. Cersei knew that it would probably hurt but she would be fine. 

Her father did not offer any words of support or kindness. She was alone and missed her brothers. She missed Jaime’s ability to make her smile and she missed Tyrion’s kisses. It was two weeks into their journey when her father finally understood that there was no going back. He set an imposing pace to go back to the Rock. Cersei became sick of traveling and wanted nothing but to get home and sleep. 

They arrived at night. It was only uncle Kevan welcoming them. Cersei walked as if she were a ghost and found her quarters. She closed her eyes and thought she did not want to ever wake up.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support :)

Chapter 8

She had feverish dreams. Cersei tried to make sense of the images but it was hard. She was thirsty and hot. She trashed and woke up to darkness. The girl saw her dead mother but could not get near her, a wall of dragons stopped her. She then ran through a dark hallway. She yelled for her brothers, mother and even father on occasion but no one answered.

Later, Tyrion would tell her that she was in bed with a fever for two days. Cersei was in and out of the fever. Tyrion by her side, while maesters came and went. 

She woke up late at night. Cersei was thirsty and had a headache. She moaned and opened her eyes. Tyrion smiled and hugged her. He was different, no more traces of baby in him. 

Cersei smiled, “I am happy to see you too.” She croaked. 

“Jaime wake up.” Tyrion said and her brother startled. 

“Oh Cerse, you scared us.” He said and smiled. “See I told you, she is fine. I have to call father. He will want to know that you are finally awake.”

Cersei was looked after and had a bath. Tyrion and Jaime were forced to leave the room and she stayed with her handmaidens who cleaned and combed her hair. 

She did not cry anymore. She was out of tears it seemed. Cersei waited for Tyrion and Jaime to come back to her but it was not them who came through her door. It was her lord father. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked her while seating near her bed. 

“Better, it must have been something I picked up from the road.” She said and smoothed the linen sheets. 

“Yes, your brothers were quiet worried.” Her father said carefully. “You must rest. Good night.” He stood up and did something he rarely did. He kissed her forehead. “Sleep well.” 

Cersei decided to try her luck, “could Tyrion come and stay here tonight?”

Her father nodded, “only for tonight. Things cannot be like they were before. I will not let you baby him anymore.” 

Cersei did not pay much attention, all she heard was that Tyrion could be near her. She knew that father would not allow Jaime but Tyrion could get away with it because he was still a baby. 

Tyrion came in a couple of minutes later and grinned. “Father said you needed me.” He laid down by her. 

“I missed you very much Cersei. I cried myself to sleep the first month.” He said honestly and kissed her cheek. 

Cersei kissed his forehead, “I missed you two.” Tyrion turned his back on her and Cersei caressed his hair and sang to him. She slept better that night than she had since father decided to make her stay in King’s Landing. It was all wasted because now Rhaegar would marry Elia Martell in a fortnight. 

She adjusted to life in Casterly rock little by little as father did. Uncle Kevan and his new wife were relegated. Cersei became lady of the rock once more and ran it. Father and Jaime saw to their lands. She had to be fair to father, Jaime was not really interested in being the future warden of the West. He went away for hours on end. Cersei thought he was in love with a girl and spied on him. Tyrion helped her as well. Jaime was not in love with a girl. He was in love with swords. He trained for hours. Cersei saw him and Tyrion confirmed that Jaime trained for hours every day. “He forgets most of everything that does not happen to be related to fighting and tales of knights and their heroic acts.” Tyrion remarked when she met him for his studies. Her brother hated the maester and decided that he would be instructed independently. Father forbade it but relented after a nasty incident with fire. 

Cersei sighed and went back to her needlepoint. Tyrion looked up from his book and said something in a foreign language. She asked him what was that. “Valyrian. I am learning it.” He said proudly. “Do you want me to teach you?”

“No thank you.” Valyrian reminded her of the prince and the fact that he must be in Dragonstone with his new bride. 

Cersei continued to write her letters to Rhaegar, but this time they were filled with regret and pain. She knew that it was not his fault but she could not feel anything other than betrayal from him. How did he not see her? Why did he not seek her out?”

A year passed almost without any news but news always came. The prince had a daughter. They named her Rhaenys. There were feasts all over the land. Cersei could not cry but she dreamed of a little girl with her eyes and the pale blonde Targaryen hair. Father was away to the Riverlands for three weeks and came back with news for Jaime. He was to marry Lysa Arryn. 

They were eating and Jaime stood up. “I will not.” He said clearly. 

Father frowned, “you will do as I say. Lysa will come and in a moon’s turn.” 

Jaime shook his head. “I will escape and join the Golden Company.” 

Their father laughed, “and I suppose you will leave your brother and sister behind. You will leave your lands and claims as well.” 

Jaime looked at them regretfully but stood firm, “I will, I have no desire to be lord of Casterly Rock. Tyrion could do it.” 

Tyrion’s eyes rounded and he then looked down to his plate. “Nonsense.” Father said but there was no more talk of marrying Jaime. The Tullys were forgotten. Cersei was surprised that there was no talk of marriage for her. All of the girls her age were married, simple Jeyne even had a son already. 

Cersei and Jaime turned eighteen without a fuss. Jaime received a beautiful armor and she had jewelry and a nice song made for her. Uncle Gerion came back and surprised them with news. He had a bastard daughter, Joy Hill. Her father was livid. Cersei grew bored with her duties and watched days turn into months. 

Cersei had hoped that Elia Martell would die in childbirth but both mother and child were healthy. Father wisely sent three carriages filled with gold to the capital, rejoicing in the new princess’ birth.

Princess Elia was pregnant once again after the year was out. The realm rejoiced once more for this time, it would be a son. It was, the Dornish princess was confined in bed for a month after giving birth to Aegon. 

Her father made one last attempt to make her queen. It was a sunny afternoon and news of The princess’ Elia’s poor health reached Casterly Rock once more. “Cersei and I will travel to King’s Landing in three days.” He said over supper.

Cersei could not help but feel a little thrill. She would see Rhaegar once more. It was all that mattered.

“Jaime will come with me as well. It is high time that you married.” Father continued.

“You will this time. There will be no more excuses. I have been too soft with you three.” Her father said firmly.

Cersei did not think so but there was no fighting their father. Jaime tried the old, “I’ll run away.”

“Do so, run away. I will marry once more and have more children.” 

Cersei frowned, “the Rock would go to Tyrion. He’s your second son.”

Her father looked at Tyrion with contempt. “He will not. If your brother leaves, I will disinherit the three of you. Jaime will have to provide for you and Tyrion.”

Jaime balled his fists, “you would never do that.”

Their father drank from his goblet, “watch. I am lord of Casterly Rock and Warden of the West. These are my lands and you are my children. I have no use for disobedient sons.”

Tyrion looked up defiantly and spoke just as clearly as their father, “you are lord of the Rock for now but one day you will die and nothing will stop Jaime from doing whatever he wants.”

Their father was taken aback but recovered almost immediately, “our name will remain. I will not have you or your siblings besmirching it.”

Cersei looked at Jaime and it was over. Her twin knew it as well. He would never abandon her or Tyrion.

He sat down and finished his meal quietly. Father smiled briefly but triumphantly. Jaime went away as soon as father left.

Tyrion was in sour mood, “I love Jaime.” He said. Cersei checked on him before going to bed herself.

“I know you do.” Cersei replied. She kissed his forehead and then went for the door. Father would banish her from the Rock if he knew.

Tyrion stayed quiet, “I would do a better job. I am smarter. I would be a better Warden.”

Cersei came back to his bed, “all we have is each other Tyrion. It’s just the three of us. We have to take care of each other.”

Tyrion nodded and received another kiss from her. 

Cersei went to look for Jaime in his rooms. He wasn’t there so she made her way to the stables. Her brother cleaned his sword. 

“Jaime.” She called to him. Her brother did not look up.

She came closer and realized that he was crying softly. Cersei sat by him and hugged him. She knew that all Jaime ever wanted was to be knight like the ones in the books father forced him to read until he did not confuse his letters. 

Cersei rubbed his back and let him have a good cry. Her twin didn’t have to explain anything.

Jaime wiped his face after a while, “do you think it would have been different if she were alive?”

Cersei doubted it but Jaime needed comfort, “yes, mother would have made sure that we were all happy. Maybe we would have more brothers and sisters. Father wouldn’t worry so much about his legacy.”

Jaime nodded, “I had a plan you know. I was going to fail miserably at being a lord for a year. Father would then have to rely on Tyrion and realize he would be a better lord.” 

Cersei shook her head, “he will never leave Casterly Rock to Tyrion.”

Jaime sighed, “Maybe we could all run away. Father wouldn’t have heirs and it would all go to uncle Kevan.”

Cersei smiled bitterly, “he can have more children. Do you see me and Tyrion trailing after you?”

Her brother looked defeated. Cersei kissed his hand. “It isn’t too bad. You will have a wife and will rule. You can hunt and fight all you want.”

“I don’t want a wife. I want to be like uncle Gerion. Travel far, fight, learn new things.” He said.

Cersei interrupted that train of thought. “Casterly Rock will be yours and Tyrion could run it in your name. All you have to do is wait and do as he says.”

Jaime frowned, “I would like you to be in my place.”

Cersei pursued her lips, “I would love to be in your place. I would be able to rule in my own name. Be here at home. How long do you think before he ships me off to some lord?” Cersei stood up. Jaime hugged her, “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.” She said and grabbed his hand.

“Let’s go back inside. I am getting cold.” She said and shivered a little.

Jaime smiled, “I’ll take a walk.” He said and made sure that she was inside the castle.

Cersei knew that Jaime would not stay in the stables. He was going to the brothel in Lannisport. He’d been going for six months now. He did not have a regular schedule. Cersei learned indirectly, through their father actually. Uncle Kevan and him were discussing Jaime and Cersei listened behind the doors.

Cersei thought father would kill Jaime when he learned but he heard his father say, “Good. Make sure the whore is clean and cannot bear children. We shan’t have bastards.”

Cersei ran back to her room. She of course knew about brothels. She knew that women satisfied men there. Cersei shrugged and slept fitfully that night. Jaime wouldn’t leave her or Tyrion. 

The girl looked for him the following morning and found him eating an apple. She sighed in relief. 

“Did you have a nice walk?” Cersei asked with a smile. She blinked at him when he almost choked.

“I did.” He said and then changed the subject to going to the shores.

“Spring is here. What do you say sister? The three of us swimming. You have not swam since you came back from the Capital.”

Cersei took the offer, “We will meet you by the gates.” 

The girl went into Tyrion’s rooms and then went into the dungeons. He sat looking at a fire. 

Cersei frowned, “get up, we are going swimming.” 

Tyrion sighed and followed her, “I don’t want to. I want to stay here.” 

“The sun will do you good.” The siblings walked to the gates and met Jaime who grinned from ear to ear. 

They walked, Jaime taught Tyrion a dirty song. Cersei frowned but listened. They made it to their private beach. No one in Lannisport was allowed there only the Lannisters. Jaime and Tyrion undressed to their breeches and went straight for the water. Cersei remained back. Jaime and Tyrion splashed and swam. Cersei decided to get into the water as well. She used her shift and underdress. It would be enough to make sure that she was covered. 

She played around with Tyrion and yelled when Jaime dunked her under the water. Tyrion climbed her back and tried to sink her as well. She laughed like she had not in years. Tyrion tumbled and tried to teach them. Cersei was successful and graceful while Jaime made a fool of himself. Jaime looked to be out of his funk. They played all afternoon and ran to dry themselves. Tyrion was sleepy by the time they walked back to the Rock. He climbed Jaime’s back and he carried him until they got home. 

Father waited for them at the gates. Cersei stiffened. Jaime set Tyrion down. Their father’s voice was icy. “Make yourselves presentable. I will see you three in my solar immediately.” 

The three Lannisters took their separate ways. Cersei dressed and tried to comb her wet and salty hair. It was by no means presentable but she plaited into a single braid. She was the last one to join. 

“We are to go to Harrenhal for Lord Whent’s daughter’s nameday.” He said clearly. Cersei frowned. 

“Why?” She blurted. 

Her father contemplated her for a minute and then said quickly, “the King has asked for a presence. I need you three to be on your best behavior. Jaime, you are free to enlist in as many lists as you desire.”

Jaime grinned and nodded. “Yes father.” 

“Cersei, you and Tyrion will be on your best behavior.” 

Cersei then thought that maybe the king had come to his senses and wanted her father back as Hand of the King. Father would then go back to King’s Landing. He dismissed her brothers and asked her to sit down. 

“I need your help.” Her father looked at her seriously. 

“Of course father.” She said with downcast eyes. 

Father stood up and came close to her, “I need you to make sure that your brothers behave themselves. There is a lot of stake in this Tourney. We might be in the King’s good grace if things work out.” 

Cersei nodded, “Father, am I still to marry prince Rhaegar?” 

Father kissed her forehead, “you must be patient. Now, go on and do as I told you. Make sure your brothers behave.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! 
> 
> Don't own anything. 
> 
> Here, for those of you who are still there :). Let me know what you think!

Chapter 9 

Harrenhal was massive. Cersei tried to not be awed by its sheer size. Most of the noble houses were in attendance. Cersei had knights and lords bow to her every five minutes. There were the Freys, the Manderlys, the Tyrells, the Florents, the Martells. There were even northerners. Tyrion knew every sigil. “Those are Baratheons.” He said, Cersei looked at a strong man. 

“My lady.” The man said with a laughing smile. He was possibly the biggest man she ever saw. 

Cersei smiled, “Robert Baratheon, lord of Storm’s End.” He said. 

There was another man beside him. He introduced himself, “Brandon Stark.” He said and boldly kissed her hand. He was taller and more handsome. Cersei was a little impressed by him. 

“We are looking for our brother.” She smiled their way. 

“And who might you be fair maiden?” The man smiled gallantly. 

“Cersei of house Lannister.” She said simply. 

Both men bowed again and pointed her to a clearing. “He is training with my youngest brother.” 

Cersei and Tyrion walked away, not before Brandon Stark winked at her. Cersei did not react. 

Jaime was not training with anyone. He was talking to Oberyn Martell. Cersei frowned, “Prince Oberyn.” She said in greeting. 

“Lady Cersei, you grow more beautiful by the hour.” He said and kissed her hand. 

Tyrion wandered off to talk to people. “Father will dine with the king in private tonight.” She told her brother who readied to joust. 

Jaime smiled, “why are you here Cersei?”

She frowned, “father said to make sure you were on your best behavior.” 

Jaime laughed, “you want to see him. Don’t you?” 

Cersei blushed, “no. I just want to make sure you are fine.” 

“Sweet sister, you cannot lie to me. I am your twin.” He said arrogantly. “He is inside the castle.” 

Cersei felt absurd. She should have remained back. “Tyrion, we have to find our places.” 

Tyrion wandered away and talked to a young man. “Let him make friends. That is Benjen Stark.” 

Cersei nodded and left her brother. She walked through the forest and heard some sounds. She followed the sounds of a sword and armor. She walked deeper into the woods. It was as if she was beckoned to do so. 

What she found was incredible. It was a young woman changing into armor. Cersei gasped when they locked eyes. “Please don’t tell anyone.” 

“Why are you dressing as a knight?” Cersei asked the girl. She appeared to be at least a year younger than her. 

“I have to avenge my father’s bannerman.” She said clearly. The girl had grey eyes and black hair, as black as night. 

“I am Cersei Lannister.” She said. 

“Lyanna Stark.” The girl replied. “Will you keep my secret?” 

Cersei looked at her, “are you any good?” 

“Better than Benjen and Ned.” She said proudly. “I may be exaggerating about Ned.” 

Cersei looked at her suspiciously, “are they real knights?”

Lyanna shook her head, “my brothers.” 

Cersei was curious, “I met one of them but he said his name was Brandon.” 

Lyanna put on her helmet, “I have to joust now Cersei. I will come and find you after the feast.” 

The girl mounted her horse and left. Cersei went back to her seat and watched the jousts. Lyanna Stark won time and time again that same day. 

Tyrion was in awe. They watched Jaime move up the lists and cheered. Jaime promised to crown her queen of love and beauty by the end of the Tourney. 

Cersei and Jaime attended the feast that night. Tyrion was too tired and fell asleep almost immediately. Father, the King and Lord Whent were in a separate chamber. Jaime left her to talk to some lords. She watched as prince Rhaegar and princess Elia came into the hall. The Dornish princess looked tired and sat with her ladies while Prince Rhaegar played music for the hall. It was hauntingly beautiful. All the ladies were in a trance. A few cried at the beauty of the music, including one Lyanna Stark. 

Cersei waited patiently. She made for the door after half an hour. Lyanna followed discreetly. 

“You kept my secret.” She said with a small smile. 

Cersei frowned, “no one would have believed me.” 

Lyanna nodded and walked with her, “this is the last Tourney I will attend in a while.” 

“I am going to run away.” She said with a grin. 

Cersei frowned more pronouncedly, “why are you telling me that?” 

Lyanna shrugged, “you won’t tell anyone.” 

“You won quite a few times.” Cersei remarked. She was a little impressed by this girl. 

“I told you I was good.” She continued. “Are you not going to ask?” The other girl stopped walking with her.

Cersei turned around, “ask what?”

Lyanna sighed, “I am betrothed to Robert Baratheon.”

“I met him. The Stormlord?” Cersei replied.

“Yes, he’s Ned’s best friend. They are like brothers.”

Cersei failed to see how this would be interesting or worthwhile but something made her like this girl.

“I like him. He’s fine but he’s not for me.” Lyanna continued. “He doesn’t love me. He has a daughter in the Eyre.”

“What are you going to do?” Cersei asked her.

“I’ll run away to Essos and join a sellsword company. I’ve heard some of them take women and I’m good.” The girl said with a smile. She was eager, “Ned, Benjen and I will journey back North together. Brandon will go to Riverrun. He’s to marry Catelyn Tully. It is the perfect opportunity for me.”

Cersei frowned once more, “you are making a mistake. You really are.”

Lyanna shook her head, “I can’t marry him. I don’t love him.” 

“You sound like my brother.” Cersei did not think she had more time for silly girls. 

“Will you keep my secret then?” Lyanna asked her. 

Cersei shrugged, “yes, but I would not run away. Stay and marry your Stormlord.” 

Lyanna smiled but then left to go to the forest. She would probably train more. Cersei sighed. She was a stupid girl after all. She was a little distracted and did not see the man coming towards her. She was startled when he bumped into her. 

“My lady, I apologize.” The stranger said. He had a nice voice. Cersei looked at him, grey eyes, tall, long face, tall, taller than her. He was a Stark, he looked like Brandon. This was Lyanna’s other brother. 

“You should watch where you walk.” She said quickly. “She went into the woods.” Cersei said. 

“Thank you.” The Stark left after his sister. 

Cersei went back to her quarters and slept peacefully that night. Her and Tyrion watched the different jousts. Her peace did not last long. Father was increasingly prickly about things and decided that they would leave before the Tourney ended. Cersei was angrier than Jaime who was winning all of his jousts. She stormed out into the many fields in Harrenhal. 

She ran and almost fell when she stumbled. Cersei walked blindly into the forest. She came to a clearing and found something that almost broke her. There, by a river was Prince Rhaegar kissing Lyanna Stark. It was not a forced kiss either. Lyanna caressed his face and he replied by leaning into the caress. Cersei turned and ran back without them seeing her. She was crying and didn’t notice the rain or the fact that her dress was caught in a root. Cersei continued running but there was no more ground to run into. She fell and rolled into ground and hit her head. 

“My lady.” She heard someone say. It was the Stark man. It all came back to her. Lyanna and Rhaegar kissing. She cried, her heart ached. 

Cersei opened her eyes and saw the man’s worried face, “I saw you falling.” He said and helped her sit down. Cersei kept crying. “It is fine. You only have small wound on your forehead.” He said patiently and dabbed it with a cloth from his shirt. 

Cersei wiped her face angrily. “I have to go back to the castle. We are leaving today.” She tried to stand up and realized that there was a shooting pain on her left leg.

The Stark helped her. “Sit, my lady, may I look at it?”

“Are you a maester?” She asked a little exasperated that she could not cry alone. 

“No, but I can tell if it is broken or not.” He said quickly. 

“Fine.” She said and did not expect him to touch her leg. She yelped when he touched her ankle. “It’s not broken, just sprained. You must not put your weight on it.” The man said and carried her on his arms. 

“What are you doing?” She said and tried to get down. 

“You are hurt and it will be night soon.” He said quickly. 

Cersei frowned, “you can’t take me back like this. People will think badly of me. You must set me down near the open fields and call for my brother.”

“Something could happen to you.” He said as he carried her. The man was strong, he walked fast and did not waver. 

“You have to. I am Cersei Lannister, not some barmaid. I am a lady; my father would end you if he knew you touched my ankle.” She said haughtily. 

“Very well, as you wish.” He said. 

He set her on a rock at the edge of the forest. Cersei cried silently for a while. She wept once again because of Rhaegar. She decided no more. Enough was enough. She would not do so anymore. These were the last tears that she shed for him. She thought of how stupid she was and how ridiculous this all was. There she was, pining over him when the prince never looked at her. She shook a little, sobbing and hating herself for crying this much. 

Jaime ran to her and it was all too much. She hugged him tight. “Cerse, it will be fine. I swear to you. I promise, I will make him pay. Dearest, calm down.” Cersei kept shaking. Tyrion came to her side as well.

Jaime stood up and looked at the Stark man. He charged at the northerner. “What did you do to her?” Her brother yelled. 

Jaime punched the Stark man. The northerner then punched Jaime. “Stop.” Cersei stood up and regretted it immediately. She fell down once more. 

Both men ran to her, “my lady, I told you. Do not put your weight on your foot.” 

Jaime pushed the Stark away, “Cersei, tell me. What did he do to you? I will kill him.” Jaime said and grabbed her hands. 

“Nothing Jaime. I ran and fell. Look at my ankle.” She said carefully. Jaime glared at the man and then lifted her dress. 

“Oh sister.” He said. “We must get you to the maester. Are sure he did not do anything to you?” Jaime asked her once more. 

“I am sure Jaime.” She said and then her brother picked her up. She leaned into his chest and closed her eyes. 

The Stark man bowed to her and then went his way. Tyrion fetched their father who had the maester fix her. 

“It needs to heal. She will need a litter to travel.” The maester replied. The Lannisters left that same night. Father did not let Jaime stay. He was to joust with the Prince the following morning. 

Tyrion accompanied her on the litter. “Do not be so sad Cersei, you will be on your feet soon enough.” 

Cersei smiled gently at her baby brother. The reached an inn in two days and learned that Prince Rhaegar crowned one Lyanna Stark his queen of Love and Beauty. Father did not think much of it and there were no more words spoken about Harrenhal.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey! 
> 
> I don't own GOT. Thank you all for the feedback :)):):):):):): I love comments! Let me know what you think.

Chapter 10

News of Lyanna’s kidnapping spread fast. Cersei and Jaime were having breakfast when the news reached them. Their father stayed put for a second and immediately went to his solar. Tyrion came to her drawing room. Jaime was by her side. They were discussing Tyrion’s upcoming name day feast. 

“What would you like for your name day Tyrion?” Cersei asked him as they ate some fruit. 

He shrugged, “whatever is good.” He said and then looked at them curiously. 

“Prince Rhaegar kidnapped Lyanna Stark. I heard father say that something is going to happen.” 

Cersei was not surprised. She kept quiet and wondered why it was not her. She busied herself with Casterly Rock. There were rumors that the King asked had imprisoned Brandon Stark and his companions. They were accused of conspiring to kill the crown prince. She also heard that King Aerys asked for their lord father to answer for their sons’ crimes. 

Father stayed away from conflict. Cersei thought it wise to do so. She remembered how unhinged the King could be. She remembered how the king had Ilyn Payne’s tongue cut off after the man joked that her father was the real king. 

Cersei combed her long hair one night and was distracted when father burst into the room. “Get dressed. “We have company.” 

Cersei frowned and did not have time to fix her hair. She wore a dark blue dress and came down with Tyrion who looked sleepy. Jaime was already glaring at the party who was with their father. Cersei recognized the Stark man and the Stormlord but did not recognize the young woman, and the two older men. 

“My daughter Cersei and my youngest son Tyrion.” Their father said as introduction. 

The Stark man looked at her quickly and then looked away. 

“These are Hoster Tully and Jon Arryn.” Her father said pointed to the two older men. 

“You met Eddard Stark and Robert Baratheon in Harrenhal.” Their father continued. “Cersei and Jaime are to marry Eddard and Lysa tonight.” Her father spoke softly. 

Cersei frowned. She looked at Jaime and saw it in his eyes. It was done. It was true. She would not have any say in the matter. Not that anything that she said ever counted. She was powerless in all of it. Cersei refused to cry. She refused to let these strange men see her weak. 

Tyrion frowned, “Why?” 

It was Arryn who spoke, “Jaime, Eddard and Robert are to take back King’s Landing and find Lyanna.” 

Father chose a side after all. Cersei did not once look at her betrothed. “Cersei, take Lysa to the guest quarters. You both most wash and freshen up for the ceremony.” 

Cersei walked in a daze and led the girl outside the study. Tyrion was not allowed to go with them. Lysa began to cry in earnest when they reached the rooms. 

“I do not want to marry your brother. I want to go home.” The simple girl sobbed. Cersei looked at her with disgust. 

“You are lucky to have landed my brother.” Cersei said quickly. 

The redheaded girl frowned, “it is all Cat’s fault. She should have waited. Brandon and her should have waited. She got herself with child and is now North. I hope her babe dies.” 

Cersei looked at her, “what are you saying?”

Lysa looked at her, “you don’t know. Brandon and Rickard Stark are dead. The king killed them a week ago. Brandon insisted they married before he and his father answered summons from the King. But I know why. Cat did not have her moon-blood. She’s with child and now she’s North.” The girl was demented. 

Cersei left her crying and went to her own chambers. Jaime waited for her there. “Is it true? Are the other Starks dead?”

Jaime nodded, “he’s making alliances and bargaining your dowry as we speak.” 

Cersei paced. “Where is Tyrion?” 

Jaime could not quite look at her in the eyes. “They are sending him away after the ceremony. He will be fostered in the Eyrie with the Royces.” 

Cersei cried then, “why is he doing this? Why is he taking Tyrion away from me?” 

Jaime held her, “you mustn’t cry. It will ruin your face for the ceremony.” 

Cersei hit him on the chest, “why are you so accepting of all of this?” 

Jaime looked at her, “Tyrion will come back. I agreed to marry Lysa with only one condition. I will have Tyrion by my side, always. He knows that I do not have the head to run the Rock but Tyrion does.”

Cersei realized it, Tyrion would need to know how to run lands. “He could have stayed here.” 

Jaime frowned, “you know very well that father would not stand for it. So Tyrion will go to the Eyrie and learn for a year. He will then come back to me. He will be the lord of Casterly Rock.” 

Cersei frowned, “what about your children?” 

Jaime smiled at her, “I do not plan to have any children with that girl. Father has to die eventually. Tyrion will be ready and I will go away.”

“What if father lives to be so old like Walder Frey?” Cersei stated. 

Jaime kissed her forehead, “why must you always be so negative?” 

Cersei looked down, “what about me? I will have to marry a stranger.” 

Jaime grabbed her hand and squeezed, “Cersei, you were always going to marry a stranger.” 

Cersei looked away, “you will stay here until the war ends. Father and Stark have agreed.” Jaime said as consolation. Cersei half smiled. He did not understand. How could he? It was not the same for him. Jaime and even Tyrion got to stay. They got some control over their lives even with father being father. Cersei was bargained and sold to a man she never properly met. 

She was numb with rage when the handmaidens began their work. A new girl worked on her hair. She put oils to untangle it and work with it. Cersei chose a golden dress while the new girl put emeralds on her braids. 

“M’lady, you look beautiful.” Cersei did not say anything and waited until she was called. She could not think about Rhaegar anymore. She cried for him since she was a child. It would not do anymore. It simply could not anymore. It felt like she repeated those words over and over and now they would be true. They had to become true. 

Her father entered her chambers. He held a heavy red cloak with a golden lion emblazoned. 

He looked at her and put it on. His father then looked at her and kissed her forehead.

There were no more words spoken. Father’s bet did not pay off and he finally admitted defeat. He aligned himself with the winners. It was self-preservation. What Jaime did not understand was that father knew that the Targaryens were done. It would be Baratheon. He would sit on that throne with Lyanna by his side. What father did not know was that Lyanna would not sit quietly. 

Cersei looked at her father once more and decided to be quiet. She was tired of it and wanted this day to be over. 

Father grabbed her hand and led her to the sept. “The North is the biggest kingdom out of the seven. Your husband is to inherit.” 

“Catelyn Tully is with child.” Cersei replied. “Why are you giving me away to a second son?”

Her father looked at her quietly, “my hand is forced. I will not give you to a vassal house. You are my daughter.” 

“Why would I need to be given away?” Cersei said. 

Her father looked impossibly old then, “they saw you with him coming out of the forest. Your brothers confirmed it. I will not have a nasty rumor end your possibilities.” 

Cersei remained quiet. “You will stay with me until Eddard comes back from King’s Landing. You will go North with him afterwards.” 

“What about Catelyn and her child?” Cersei asked. 

“Children die every day. The Tully girl is rather sick with grief herself. She may do us all a favor and die with the child inside her belly.” Her father intoned before they stepped into the sept. 

That was the game he played now. He would take care of Catelyn and make way for Eddard. 

Cersei stared blankly at him. It would not do. She would not go North.


End file.
